Funny Things to Say for Prom Court

Why didn't the skeleton go to the prom?

You might think it's because he has no body to go with, but in reality it's just because he's dead.

rural upbringin'

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Reggie, Joe, and Chuck

There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.

why didn't Maria go to prom?

she had no Juan to go with

Read the punchline out loud. I first heard this in high school, not sure how well it translates to print.

Poor Tom.

When he was seven, he lost his left eye in a tragic accident. Being from a poor family, the only replacement they could afford was a wooden eye.

When he was seventeen, three weeks before the prom, he was still dateless. He decided to work up the courage to ask someone, but he knew he has limits. He set his eye of Amy, a girl in his class, who spoke with a lisp.

He walked up to her at lunch, while she was surrounded by her friends, and he managed to stammer out a quiet "willyougotothepromwithme?"

"Whath that? I can't hear what you're thaying."

"Will you go to the prom? With me?" he answered, a little louder.

Amy smiled. She never thought anyone would ask her!

"Go with you? Would I? Would I?"

"LISP LISP LISP!"

What do they do at a prom for a school of the mentally disabled?

Slow dance.

Where did the promiscuous girl from Belgium go to plant her flowers?

ze Hoegaarden.

A young man was at prom with his date.

He went off in search for something to drink. After getting lost a few times, he finally asked a chaperone, "So where's the punch line?"

Are you a VIRGIN?

Joe had a blind date with Maria for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her.

After some really passionate embracing, he said: "Tell me, do you object to making love?"

"That is something I have never done before," Maria replied.

"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Joe was amazed!

"No, silly," she giggled, "I've never objected!"

Hot girl at prom

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

Why did the skeleton not go to prom?

He had no *body* to go with!!!

You can explore prom gowns reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prom line dad jokes. There are also prom puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Did you hear about all the Hamburgers that showed up at the Hot Dogs' prom?

They were in abundance.

A guy is taking his girlfriend to the prom

He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but he eventually gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but he eventually gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to get some punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there's no punchline.

Did you know that the average prom...

Did you know that the average prom now costs $1,000 dollars. Actually, it costs $2,000 if you count the abortion.

Gift before the Prom

"I'm ready for my first prom daddy"

"Here, take this box son... And don't make the mistake I made"

"Whats in the box dad"

"...Condoms"

Why did the guy wear sweatpants to his prom?

Strictly Ballroom.

What do you call a vampire's prom date?

His Ghoul-Friend

I hate waiting in lines.

At prom I was overjoyed because there was no punch line.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.

When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.

While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".

I promise you that there are three types of people in this world.

Those who keep their promises, and those who don't.

The most promising show of 2016 in the Middle East could be...

"To Catch a Predator Drone"

If all the girls who went to my high school prom were laid end to end...

It wouldn't surprise me at all.

Use the promo code NETFLIX

To get 50% off your next exam!

A guy wants to take his girlfriend to prom

So he waits in line to buy tickets. It's a long line. He wants it to be a memorable night- he stands in line for hours to get a limo. On his way to pick her up, he stops to buy flowers. Theres a long line here too. When they get to the prom later that night, she suggests they get some punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there's no punch line.

I promised my wife I would not joke with her when she was PMSing.

She has my word, period.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

A guy is at a prom telling a joke to his friends

Halfway through his joke he realizes there is no punchline.

So he ditches his friends to grab a cup of punch.

'C' has just been promoted to the second letter of the alphabet!

However R & D believe the rise in C levels will result in a loss of B's.

Why was the skeleton alone at prom?

Because he had no body to go with!

Two promiscuous citrus fruits have unprotected sex

They get lemon-aids

What's a down syndrome's kids favorite thing to do at prom?

Slow Dancing.

A guy asks a girl to prom...

A guy asks a girl out to prom and she says yes. Excited, the guy goes to dress shop to get a tuxedo but there is a very long line. After buying the suit he goes to buy flowers for his partner. So he gets in another very long line in the flower shop. Finally after hours of waiting he goes to prom. After dancing for a while his partner asks him to get punch for her. When he gets there, their is no punch line.

I think I promised to have 3 beers and be home by 10

Sorry honey, I always get those 2 mixed up.

Did you hear about the feminist remake of Stephen King's Carrie?

When Carrie gets drenched in blood, she runs home from the prom and writes an angry Tumblr post about how triggered she is.

I promised my wife I would make her feel like a princess.

She is all locked up in the tower now.

A boy asks a girl to the prom and she says yes.

He goes to organise a limo at the rental limo place and due to everyone else wanting a limo for the prom he has to wait in line for ages to get one.

He then goes to the flower store to buy her some flowers but again everyone is there buying flowers and he's stuck in line for seems like hours.

After flowers he goes to get his tuxedo at the store and the line is huge again with everyone else getting their tux's too.

He finally makes it to the prom with his date, they arrive and he asks if she wants to go onto the dance floor. She says "I'm a little thirsty, can I get some punch first?" He says "ok" and goes up to get some punch and there is no punchline.

What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?

They can't be deboned.

Why can't antijokes go to the prom?

Because there might be a punchline!

How do they promote safe sex in Wales?

They put signs next to the sheep that kick

Good, bad, worse

Good: I slept with my teacher after prom last night.
Bad: I was home schooled.
Worse: by my dad.

A prominent art collector quits the Cabinet immediately after his confirmation

He had stumbled into the wrong auction

A boy asks a girl to prom..,

..and she says yes. Overexcited, he is told he must show up with a limo and a tuxedo. So he goes to the limo rental and waits in the limo line, and he gets the limo. Then, he goes to the tuxedo rental and waits in the tuxedo line. Finally, the big day comes, and he brings his date to prom. She asks him to get some punch. He goes over to get some punch, and realizes there is no punch line.

A boy with a wooden eye asked a girl with a hairy lip to the prom...

Seeing how nobody else would likely go with them, the boy with the wooden eye asks the girl with the hairy lip, "Would you like to go to Prom with me?".

The girl with the hairy lip, surprised and excited says, "Would I!?".

"HAIRY LIP", replied the boy.

Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?

Because he has nobody to go with.

I promised my wife the earth today…

But I gave her the live instead and electrocuted her…

At the Bee Prom...

A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line

I got promoted to the senior supervisor at the cheese factory.

I am now the greater grater grader.

Where do cats go for their prom?

The fur ball :)

Why did the boy bring a fig to the prom?

Because he couldn't find a date!

I told my Dad it'd be embarrassing to chaperone at my schools prom.

He said I'd do fine and thanks for hooking him up with the freshman date.

So my sister finished getting dressed for prom night, and she asked me, "How do I look?"

I said, "With your eyes."

When I promise to come up with an organ transplant pun...

I de-liver.

I was trying to promote heavy policing in urban areas with a hip new logo you can post around your neighborhood...

"S.W.A.T. Stickas" didn't go over too well...

What did my prom date say when she got to the ball?

*gh-Where-Gh-is-Ghagh-the-gh-second-gh-ball.

I forgot to bring the drinks to my senior prom. But hey, look at the bright side.

No punch line.

The Promotion

I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.

"Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly" she said "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with".

"That's fair enough" I replied "When can you start?"

They say the average high school prom goer now spends $1000 on prom

Or $2000 if you count the abortion.

Why did the skeleton show up late to prom?

He was boning someone.

Can you imagine going to your girlfriend's prom at 32?

Well neither could Roy Moore. He preferred freshmen.

I promised my friends I'd stop using double entendres all the time…

…but it's so hard.

How does a promiscuous endocrinologist know when he's doing a good job?

His hormones

I took a pikey girl to the prom.

She disappeared with the punchline.

My 35 year old friend was telling me how excited she was that she finally had sex with her high school crush.

Next day she tells me shes bummed cause he asked her to go to prom with him.

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom..

he waits in the ticket line for a really long time but eventually gets his tickets, he wants to rent a limo so he waits in a long line again until he gets his limo, he goes to buy flowers and again the line is super long. At prom, she asks him to go grab her a drink, and there is no punchline.

What are some things to say when leaving?

Things like "Let's make like a ball and bounce." or "I'm going to make like a tree and leave." or "I'm off like a prom dress."

There was this guy who took his girlfriend to prom...

He waited in a really long line to get some tickets.

After he finally got them, he goes to rent a limo, there is also a really long line, but he finally rents the limo.

Then at the prom he goes to get some punch. There is no punchline

If you really want a promotion at work, all you have to do is walk into your office shouting, "Vodka! Tequila! Sambuca!" at the top of your lungs...

This will make you the person who calls the shots...

In Need of a Pun

Alright, so I need help coming up with a spiderman-themed pun to ask a girl to Prom. I'm going to be holding a sign with the pun-loaded question while dressed as Spiderman. Help is greatly appreciated.

To keep the mods happy, I'll give you a joke:

A dyslexic bar walks into a man, bartender long face asks him "Why?"

The high school for the blind had the best prom.

Everyone danced like no one was watching.

I promised myself that I would have a cigarette after having sex

Well, at least I'm cancer-free. :)

Why does the pharmacist at the drug store hate prom so much?

The morning after always has long lines.

20 years ago I asked my high school love out to Prom, today I ask her to marry me...

Both times she said no.

I heard of a high school prom that had the best drink in the world.

Couldn't find the punch line though.

I think I promised my wife I'd have 2 drinks and be home by 8

I always get those two mixed up

I promised my wife that I haven't kissed a single girl since we met

the married ones are less demanding

I got a promotion at the farm

I'm the new CIEIO

How does a promiscuous Amish woman measure her sexual escapades?

In Mennonite.

Why would Prometheus make a good mailman?

Because he has a lot of experience with de-livering.

I promised myself I would only smoke when I drink.

Now I'm an alcoholic too.

I promote fairness all the time

I wonder why people call me racist?

A boy really likes a girl

so he asks her out to the prom. She says yes, so they go. At the prom, she asks for him to get some punch. He goes, and to his disbelief, there's no punch line.

What did the hair follicle say to its daughter at prom?

They grow up so fast.

It would be bad if someone got killed at a prom

We would have a panic at the disco!!

Why did the power line not go to prom?

She was grounded

I was at my parents' prom

Dad brought me, but I went home with mom.

A couple go to prom.

The girl says, let's get our photo taken. So they wait in the photo line and get their photo taken.

She says, go find us a table. So he waits in the line to get a table and gets a table.

While sitting, she says, get me a snack. So he goes to stand in the snack line and gets a snack.

She's thirsty and says, go get me some punch. He goes, but there isn't a punchline.

James takes his date to the prom

They get to the building, and there's a long line to get in

They go to take pictures, and there a long line for pictures

They go to get flowers, and there's another long line for flowers.

James is fed up with all the lines, so he goes for some punch, and finds that there is no punchline

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Source: https://jokojokes.com/prom-jokes.html